Midge's Homebirth

This is dedicated to Eleanor and Sharon -
two of the bestest midwives out



Midge and her husband Rambo are expecting their first child. They are going to
have a homebirth.

 

They don't want to give birth in the local cattlemarket and
risk getting MRSA and soggy dairylea sandwiches so are engaging the services of
an Independent Midwife called Fanny

This is Fanny

 

Midge has been having her antenatal appointments at home and
so is well prepared and excited about her birth. She has been able to talk
through her fears and expectations and knows that Fanny will do her best to see
that all runs smoothly. What's more, she knows that she won't be left alone in a
strange room with ugly doctors coming in every now and then to check on the
status of her fandoogle as she will have Fanny with her all the time she is in
labour.

 

Fanny also makes sure that Rambo understands what will happen
and talks through how he can help Midge during the birth. Rambo is very pleased
that he can be so involved and feel part of his baby's birth.

Quick Fanny! Come now! Midge has gone in to labour!

 

Poor Midge is in a lot of pain. She tries to get on all fours
to slow things down but is getting scared!

 

Oh Midge! You don't want to do that! Lying on your back is one
of the worst things you can do when in labour! Get up now and use some gravity
to get the head to drop. It will feel less painful too!

 

Fanny helps Midge up and calms her down. Midge feels a lot
happier and more in control now that Fanny is here to support her.

 

Fanny checks up on how the baby is doing. All looks well! The
baby is happy and Midge is happy!

 

Rambo tries to help by rubbing Midge's back. First labours can
be long and drawn out and can be very tiring for all involved. Wake up Rambo!!

 

The pain is getting too much for Midge now so Fanny fills the
birthing pool and puts on some soothing music. Water is great for pain relief in
labour

 

Get out of the water Rambo! It's for your wife. There isnt
enough room in there for you too! says Fanny calmly

 

Midge is very happy once she is in the water. Her contractions
are much easier to deal with. Fanny ensures the water remains at the right
temperature

 

Midge feels like she needs the bathroom. Oh no! Please don't
start pushing on the loo! yells Fanny, calmly

 

Fortunately the second midwife, Foofoo, arrives. She helps
Midge get off the loo and back in to the pool

 

Fanny checks on the baby and Foofoo checks to see if she can
see a head yet. Midge is pushing!!

 

Foofoo has got everything ready for the second and third stage
- a kettle for coffee, mirrors to check make-up, a jug for flowers and a bowl
for the placenta

 

The baby is here! That was nice and easy, wasnt it?! It's a
girl! says Midge. I can tell because she has a pink (cloth) nappy on!

 

The placenta is deftly delivered and coffee is made for all

 

Midge's sister arrives to congratulate her and everyone hugs.

Well done Midge! What a great birth!