Stepping away from it all

It hasnt been deliberate but it's been weeks (months?!) since I last visited a parenting forum and even longer since I last posted. Not deliberate because I have just been too busy - busy busy busy with work and non stop parcel packing, busy with my hobbies and family and dolls houses and busy with new friends on other forums and offline. There just hasnt been the time to talk nappies or argue about who the best mother of the week is.

And it's done me good, I think. Stepping away has allowed me to reflect on life as it was when a day wouldnt pass without visiting parenting forums. It had become habit. Like lighting a cigarette is for some. Possibly a bad habit.

Stepping away I can now see just how the places I chose to frequent were bad for my health, my state of mind and my personality. I can see just how cliquey some are, how supportive some can be and how addictive some can be.

There are the large parenting forums where messages fly about like specks of dust - everywhere, loads of them and it's hard to keep up with them. These forums are good for information but hard to get to know anyone really well. Super if you dont want people to know you but want some sort of dialogue - but not ideal if you want true companionship

There are those that are full of people who use txt spk - but I never got the hang of them. Plus they made me feel too old! And those who appear to be hostile to outsiders who don't share their 'causes'. And there are those where the few dominant characters seem to do just that - dominate and affect the whole character of the place. They dominate the atmosphere, in fact, they create the atmosphere. There are the rival gangs who play fight each other. There are those who stand on the corners and cheer on their side and those who skulk away and lament the need to take sides. But sides can be fun to watch - when you step away. Each side is so sure that they are The One. Everyone who doesnt share their ideals and opinions is ridiculed. So you get the hangers on who try and adopt The Ideals but who don't quite manage it and end up looking daft. But then The Leaders of each Pack lose sight of Real Life and start to believe that they are in charge of Parentkind. Lesser mortals do not matter, they do not exist. They are not worthy.

But when you step away and look back on it all some weeks later it's quite an eye-opener. Like realising that you have outgrown Toddler Groups and NCT coffee mornings. There is Life outside of parenting forums and once you break free and hunt for it you realise just how much you have been shackled in your mind and just how much fun Real Life can be.

Parenting forums can be fun - but in reality all that holds them together is the fact that most (not all) people who frequent them are Mothers who have children. So in reality what you have is a bunch of hormonal women who usually have very little in common. And the little they do have in common (the fact they have children) is what unites and divides them.